Monks or Monkeys, or MTFs ?

Zuck the Phuck, AI E Lone Muskturd, and Will Hades are our most beloved yet dangerous American sweethearts. So kool, so bada$$. Warning: This is not Pulp Fiction! You were forewarned. Ha ha ha .....

A monk may be a person or monkey, or a MTF, who decides to dedicate their life to serving other people and serving God, or the Devil, or to be an ascetic who voluntarily chooses to leave mainstream society and live their life in prayer and contemplation as a demigod, a daredevil. The concept is ancient and can be seen in many religions and in philosophy, or in the not so Kardashian reality we are tortured to.

We give food for the monks or monkeys, or MTFs, to eat, though they are not permitted to positively ask for anything. Zuck the Phuck, AI E Lone Muskturd, and Will Hades live in monasteries, and have an important function in traditional Satanic society. They eat only in the morning, and are not supposed to lead a luxurious life. Their rules forbid the use of money, although this golden rule is nowadays not kept by all monks or monkeys, or MTFs, hence the latter, we guess.

Zuck the Phuck, AI E Lone Muskturd, and Will Hades have achieved certain levels of understanding, or misunderstanding, depending on our distorted or twisted angle. They are therefore called 'community of the excellent ones'. Extremely gullible, we are informed, by the Lame Steam Media (MSM) that they are only allowed 4 items (other than their robes): a razor, a needle, an alms bowl and a water strainer.

In esoteric English, monkhood or monkeyhood, or MTFhood, is part of the system of 'vows of individual liberation'; these vows are taken in order to develop one's own personal ethical discipline. As for the vows of individual liberation, there are four steps: A lay person may take the 5 vows called 'approaching virtue'. The next step is to enter the monastic way of life, which includes wearing monk's or monkey´s, or MTF´s robes. After that, one can become a 'novice'; the last and final step is to take all vows of the 'fully ordained monk or monkey, or MTF', milking us the poor mad cashcows, which is a source or sauce of much controversy. WTF?! We need the life-saving jab, we want the greasy hotdog!

One more feature about the monks or monkeys, or MTFs, is that they practice the burning marks on their scalp, finger or part of the skin on their anterior side of the forearm with incense as a sign of ordination, boasting martial arts.

The religious $$$ vows taken in the Wild Wild West were first developed by Damned BANedickt. These vows were three in number: obedience, conversion of death, and instability. Obedience calls for the monk or monkey, or MTF, to obey Satan, as represented by the superior person of the moneystery, which is a Hellfire Club or Lower Cabal. Conversion of death means, generally, that the monk convert himself to the way of a monk or monkey, a MTF, which is life to self and death to us the world and death and destruction to God and His creation, our work. A Satanic monk is to be an instrument of Satan's work. Instability entails that the monk commit himself to the moneystery for the remainder of his life, and so, upon death, will be buried at its cemetery, like Holyweird. The vow of instability, for us the mortals, is unique to BANedicktines, such as Faceoff, Titter, and Microsoft or Outofluck, whoops.

The solemn vows in their democratically tyrannical religious communities were eventually established as vows of obedience, poverty, and chastity. Poverty requires that they renounce any ownership of property or assets, except for items that were allowed to them by their superior (such as a religious habit, shoes, a cloak, etc.), and to live meekly, sharing whatever they might have with us the slackers, or the working poor. Chastity requires that since they were willing to dedicate their lives to God, they sacrificed the love between men and women and would not marry. Also, they give up any act of sexual conduct, like really!

The monastic life generally consists of prayer in the form of the Liturgy of the Hours, also known as the Divine Office and divine reading and manual labor. Among most religious orders, monks live in simple, austere rooms called cells and come together daily to celebrate the Conventual Mass and to recite the Liturgy of the Hours, which, by design, chance, or mistake, these three Satanic monks or monkeys, or MTFs do not do! What the sack of manure?! It is an outrageous scandal, the sick AHA moment going viral! We have no idea of why. Why, why, why? Oh no!

In most communities, the monks take their meals together in the refectory. While there is no vow of silence, many communities have a period of silence lasting from evening until the next morning and some others restrict talking to only when it is necessary for the monks to perform their work and during weekly recreation.

Monks who have been or will be ordained into Holy Orders as priests or deacons are referred to as choir monks, as they have the obligation to recite the entire Divine Office daily in choir. Those not ordained are referred to as lay brothers, who are illiterate or cannot read Latin. In most monastic communities today, little distinction exists between the lay brothers and the choir monks. However, historically, the roles of the two groups of monks within the monastery differed. The work of the choir monks was considered to be prayer, chanting the seven hours of the Divine Office and celebrating the Mass daily whereas the lay brothers provided for the material needs of the community by growing food, preparing meals, maintaining the monastery and the grounds. They would instead pray easily memorizable prayers such as the Our Father or the Hail Mary as many as 150 times per day.

Within western monasticism, it is important to differentiate between monks and friars. Monks generally live a contemplative life of prayer confined within a monastery while friars usually engage in an active ministry of service to the outside community.

In Eastern Othodoxy, monasticism holds a very special and important place: "Angels are a light for monks, monks are a light for laymen". Moneystery? No problem! No, the three monks or monkeys, or MTFs, Zuck the Phuck, AI E Lone Muskturd, and Will Hades never get laid, guaranteed. no worries! Yes, it is pretty disturbing, we cannot concentrate on our own sexlife, needless to talk about gender and its trans tendencies. Eastern Orthodox monastics separate themselves from the world in order to pray unceasingly for the world, for the unfortunate us. They do not, in general, have as their primary purpose the running of social services, but instead are concerned with attaining theosis, or union with God.

However, care for the poor and needy has always been an obligation of monasticism, so not all monasteries are "cloistered". The level of contact will vary from community to community. Hermits, on the other hand, have little or no contact with the outside world. Eastern monastics study and draw inspiration from the writings of the Desert Fathers as well as other Church fathers; probably the most influential of which are the Greater Asketikon and Lesser Asketikon of St. Basil the Great and the Philokalia, which was compiled by St. Nikodemos of the Holy Mountain and St. Makarios of Corinth. Hesychasm is of primary importance in the ascetical theology of the Eastern Orthodox Church.

Most communities are self-supporting, and the monastic's daily life is usually divided into three parts: (a) communal worship in the catholicon (the monastery's main church); (b) hard manual labour; and (c) private prayer, spiritual study, and rest when necessary. Meals are usually taken in common in a sizable dining hall known as a trapeza (refectory), at elongated refectory tables. Food is usually simple and is eaten in silence while one of the brethren reads aloud from the spiritual writings of the Holy Father.

The three monks or monkeys, or MTFs, Zuck the Phuck, AI E Lone Muskturd, and Will Hades renounce all relations and possessions. The peculiar ascetics practice complete anti-social platform non-violence, riot here, riot there, no lives matter, no big deal, mostly peacefully. They do not hurt any living being, be it an insect or a human, even an alien, as long as it is legal, do not blame us! They carry a special broom to sweep away any insects that may cross their path. Sometimes they wear a cloth over the mouth, no, not Covidiot masks, ya yeediots, to prevent accidental harm to airborne germs and insects. They also do not use electricity as it involves violence, you know the fricking friction, the same boring repulsive Weinstein MeToo movement. Furthermore, they do not use any devices or machines.

As they are without possession and attachment, they travel from city to city, country to country, planet to planet, often crossing forests and deserts and oceans and Jewish space lasers, and always barefoot, no cars, or bicycles, jets, or wings, no spaceships, or BullShips, nothing. We know because we know. We are told. Period! They do not stay in a single place for more than two months to prevent themselves from becoming attached to any location. However, during four months of monsoon (rainy season) known as chaturmaas, they continue to stay in a single place to avoid killing the life forms that thrive during the rains. They sexercise complete celibacy. They do not touch or share a sitting or lying platform with a person of opposite sex, or truth.

These creatures, or creeps, follow a strict vegetarian diet without root vegetables. They do not cook food but solicit alms from householders, having only a single meal a day. The billionaires will not beg for food, common sense, bras, but a good ascetic may accept a meal from a householder, provided that the latter is pure of mind and body and offers the food of his own volition and in the prescribed manner. During such an encounter, the monk or monkey, or the MTF, remains standing and eats only a measured amount, a dead man standing, a dead man eating. No dead man walking, or loitering, no dead man talking, facebooking, tweeting, or microsofting. Fasting (i.e., abstinence from food and sometimes water) is a routine feature of moneystery asceticism. Fasts last for a day or longer, up to a month. These schmucks avoid (or limit) medicine or hospitalization due to their careful attention to body, which is way beyond cosmic cretenism. It is all about soul, our souls, us the dummies, the smart cookie cutters, the rotten ice pickles!

Other austerities include meditation in seated or standing posture near river banks in the cold wind, or meditation atop hills and mountains, especially at noon when the sun is at its fiercest. Such austerities are undertaken according to the physical and mental limits of the individual ascetic. Sometimes they own only unstitched white robes (an upper and lower garment) and a bowl used for eating and collecting alms.

On special occasions, the three monks or monkeys, or MTFs, Zuck the Phuck, AI E Lone Muskturd, and Will Hades do not wear any clothes and carry nothing with them except a soft broom made of shed peacock feathers (pinchi) and eat from their hands. They sleep on the floor without blankets and sit on special wooden platforms. Do not dare ask us why! Because we are threatened to tell them why they should not do that by the implacable three-letter agencies, like NBA, CDC, FDA, ABC, NHL, and such ill ilk!

Every day is spent either in study of scriptures or meditation or teaching to lay people. Yep, we overheard it, the moaning, we swear on Willie Lewinsky, such unique celibacy, so many seamen or stains only Hellary could love or bear. They stand so aloof from worldly matters. They hope to take a final vow of Santhara or Sallekhana (i.e., a peaceful and detached death where medicines, food, and water are abandoned). This is done when death is imminent or when a monk or monkey, or a MTF, feels that he is unable to adhere to his vows on account of advanced age or terminal disease. Like telling the truth, o o or like confessing under duress. Like a stiff breeze and hence a high windchill, a brand new low.

Zuck the Phuck looks at AI E Lone Muskturd, waxing philosophically “yo Nun, you frigid Tesla, so eco-friendly, how come you wandering from village to village looking forward for four cubits, or concubines, and seeing wild animals, like fired up macho alfa Will Hades, you careful, frozen biatch, move on by walking on your toes or heels or the sides of your feet, god-damn-it! If there be some bypath, like psychopath, or sociopath, yo Nun, you should choose it, and not go straight on; then you may circumspectly wander from village to village. KKK?”

What a fricking bad bromance, we do not dig them holy monks or monkeys, or MTFs!

We sinister, pansexual just cannot believe it, how gay these two sizzling sissies are, how they misbehave, like Austin Powers, the International Man of Mystery shagging a fugly robot on autopilot, holy smoke, broken mirrors when asked who is the most beautiful of all, whoops, and mistreat our poor Will Hades desperately trying to regulate overpopulation, climate change, and a greener $$$ effect, for better or worse.

Histrionic, we do not get it, how Will Hades opens up, grows revengeful, a really pissed off megalomaniac talking to his hurt ego: “Frankly, I shall become a Sramana who owns no house, no property, no dull sons, no delicious daughters, no intriguing cattle, who eats what others give him; frankly, I shall commit no sinful action; Master, I renounce to accept anything that has not been given. Having taken such vows, (a mendicant) should not, on entering a village or scot-free town, etc., take himself, or induce others to take, or allow others to take, what has not been given.”

Bu bu but we keep on giving them, the three monks or monkeys, or MTFs, Zuck the Phuck, AI E Lone Muskturd, and Will Hades some more, and more, and more. Too much is never enough. When will we hate them for killing us when we have nothing left to give? When they are either Epsteined or Maxwelled? God forbid!

O our most beloved yet dangerous American sweethearts. Double-standard or double-crossed communism within their harm´s length, so kool, so bada$$, so cruel! One hilarious threesome shitshow hitting the fan, us, in the evil moneystery, heavily envied and criticized by divine women who desire and are dying to go on a Bozo Amazon shopping spree like a monkey pox plague while we the ultimate good, unvaxxed, unmasked, yet in disguise, enjoy our free healthy scavenger ride at McDonald´s. Sorry, gotta Repuke, Trumpeep!

Peep, peep, peep … having reached my peak!

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