Lorde & Her Royalty CFB Laws

... what was that? Beating perfection, some make neat luxus beds to entertain their Coronafirus Fuck Buddies, only to catch fire, while others make bad to Cell Fone Bitches, taking their fones away.

This Lorde’s high-heels-over-head theme, rolling your bedfellow eyes, perfectly portrays the invasive, turbulent, stubborn, and haunting nature of nostalgia, and what it’s like to grapple with the ghosts of past relationships. Vivid, romanticized Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon memories that come flooding back without a moment’s notice and keep you wondering, “What was that, that it could be so powerful as to still have a grip on me all this time later? Ah, I’m calling an emulance, err, amalance and my good old shrink. The weight might finally be over, ah … ”

When stardom came for Lorde, it came fast, making her one of the most well-known teens on the planet. A decade on, and ahead of her New Zealand tour, the pop star sings to me about surviving fame, ageing, and the allure of the underdog. Aha!

Like I’m still 17 in my new zeal and crazy giving you everything! Are you crouching like my tigress, Lorde? WTFyak!!!??? Oh no!

But, my Lorde has her own nuanced CFB laws, loves, lows, laughs, lavas! Especially when I am the dreary routine of working my weary ass off swimming, eating 8, and through the volcanic waves trying to sleep with her without her with my sword!

CLEAR AS A FUCKING BELL. When there is no ignoring or misunderstanding or even miss-representing what is being told or whispered to me. Whattah, I beg your pardon?

SURREEL, err, CEREAL FOR BREAKING FAST and soo phunny, err, CEREAL FOR BREAKFAST - both a general and particular statement of being hungry in a happy place or content with one's dreary distressed dreamlife. Oops!

A hard acronym for CUNT FACE BITCH. A severely vicious and offensive designation used rarely and only against the most sinister of UFOes. LOL! First known use was by David McCarty of the Boston Red Sox at Dwyers Pub in Fort Myers, FL circa March 2005. Witnessed by Kevin Youkilis (aka Kevin You-cunnilingus). ROFL! That son-of-a-bitch used that term in the following life sentence: “The CFB just blew cigar smoke in my face!” LMFAO!

When you get bloated after eating an amount of food small or large. Like, ughhhhh, you just 8 steak & shake and now you have a very bad case of the CFB, you know, like getting knocked up, bed mom?

COME FUCK me stressed out BOOTS, please! Those damn fine-ass boots girls like you wear. God damn! Dooda, you’ve got CFB, oh no, no Lorde, no!

CUNT-FACED BASTARD. An endearing insult affectionately used on deer me. Abbreviated to avoid the scandalous outrage caused by the diplomatic use of the word "cunt" in some luxurious, totally upscale households with children. Ha, ha.

A subtle acronym for CARBON FIBER BULL SHEIT. Want some? Help yourself.

1. Me: Muy quad iz teh bezstt evvarr, hoeney!

   2.

   You: Hah, yea right.

   1.

   Me: Whut doo yoo meanz?

2.

You: Libor, it has all your traditional diarrhea trademark CFBS!

1.

Me: Sure thing, bra, but crappy, err, cappy makes happy.

CERTIFIED FUCK BOY. Sure as hell, only 30 years laytour, err, later, heavenly Lorde! The only one CFB who doesn’t use any molly or ecstasy, MDMA. Because MDMA acts as both a stimulant and hallucinogen, producing an energizing effect, distortions in time and perception, and enhanced enjoyment of tactile experiences. Adolescents and young adults use it to reduce inhibitions and to promote: a/ euphoria, b/ feelings of closeness, c/ empathy, and d/ sexuality, which is even more dearly and sweetly ridiculous than me myself and I combined! Oh your lost or stray dawg!

CELL PHONE BITCH. A histrionic girl who will absolutely go ape-shit if I take her cellphone from her, lovingly, with her overreactions ranging from nervous breakdowns to violent behaviour, meaning she loving me more, not less. Like really! Here’s to you “Jesus Christ that girl is a flat out CFB, watch her cry if I swipe her phuck book from her!” Err, I meant to wipe all of her tears away to vaginally, err, finally heal her heart, FFS, CELL PHONE BEACH.

A stoopit acronym for CREAMY FILLED BUKKAKE SANDWICH. You haven’t bewitched me, have you? As there is no example ... just as it is. Please enjoy a CFBS from me. Oops?

COOL FROM BIRTH. The type of awwsome people that are soo cool no matter how or where they are and always have been. In any crystal setting, under any vitamin A B C D E F circumstance, they’ll immediately make meditation friends or laughs, but even loves, with other cool people and be totally top tier. It’s just fucking inexplicable and cums to them soo naturally. Ah Lorde, FFS, you’re a total CFB! No matter where you go or how you cum, you’ll always bee me in a beautifully silly way, err, you’ll always go POP POP POP upon seeing me or reading me, as a true matter of the Trojan War fuckt, I mean you’ll always be soo unfuckingbelievably popular with everyone, including hot me!

Sure, I poke fun at crystals, vitamins, transcendental meditation, but not as an apostate—I get the allure, too. Do you, Helen of Troy? I’m asserting my right not to have to choose, not to have all the answers. To wit, I love my face rollers. Rose quartz? “Oh my god, no. Mine, they have little motors. They’re really like, working.” And how about yours?

Helen of Troy, a central figure in Greek mythology, was known as the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the wife of King Menelaus of Sparta, and her elopement (or abduction, d’pending on the truer love story) with Paris, a prince of Troy, sparked the Trojan War. Helen's story is primarily told in Homer's epic poems, The Iliad and The Odyssey. An elopement is a wedding ceremony, typically smaller and more intimate, where a couple marries without the extensive planning and large guest lists of a traditional wedding. Oh lawd, me dawg wants no more waggings, err, weddings!

The myth of Helen of Troy's journey to Troy is complex, with narratives suggesting both voluntary love and forced abduction. While some accounts portray Helen falling in love with Paris and willingly leaving with him, others depict her as being forcibly taken, a concept often associated with the term "rape". The portrayal of Helen's journey in art and literature often reflects this ambiguity, sometimes portraying her as a willing participant and other times as a victim of abduction.

Lorde - What Was That

A place in the city

A chair and a bed

I cover up all the mirrors

Can't see myself yet

I wear smoke like a wedding veil

Make a meal I won't eat

Step out into the street, alone in a sea

It comes over me

Oh, I'm missing you

Yeah, I'm missing you

And all the things we used to do

MDMA in the back garden, blow our pupils up

We kissed for hours straight, well, baby, what was that?

I remember saying then, "This is the best cigarette of my life"

Well, I want you just like that

Indio haze, we're in a sandstorm and it knocks me out

I didn't know then that you'd never be enough, oh

Since l was seventeen, I gave you everything

Now we wake from a dream, well, baby, what was that?

What was that?

Baby, what was that?

Do you know you're still with me

When I'm out with my friends?

I stare at their painted faces

They talk current affairs

You had to know this was happening

You weren't feeling my heat

When I'm in the blue light, down at Baby's All Right

I face reality

I try (I try), to let (To let)

Whatever has to pass through me pass through

But this is staying a while, I know

It might not let me go

MDMA in the back garden, blow our pupils up

We kissed for hours straight, well, baby, what was that?

I remember saying then, "This is the best cigarette of my life"

Well, I want you just like that

Indio haze, we're in a sandstorm and it knocks me out

I didn't know then, but you'd never be enough, oh

Since l was seventeen, I gave you everything

Now we wake from a dream, well, baby, what was that?

What was that?

'Cause I want you just like that (When I'm in the blue light, I can make it alright)

What was that? (When I'm in the blue light, I can make it alright)

Baby, what was that?

Lorde - Big Star (Visualiser)

Everyone knows that you're too good for me, don't they?
I'm a cheater, I lie, and I'm shy
You like to say hello to total strangers
Shivering pines and walls of colour
I can't believe I used to stay inside

But every perfect summer's gotta say goodnight
Now I watch you run through the amber light
I used to love the party, now I'm not alright
Drinking in the dark, take me home tonight

Baby, you're a big star
You're a big star
Wanna take your picture

I toss up if it's worth it now every time I get on a plane
I've got so much to tell you and not enough time to do it in

But every perfect summer's gotta take its flight
I'll still watch you run through the winter light
I used to love the party, now I'm not alright
Hope the honeybees make it home tonight

Baby, you're a big star
You're a big star
Wanna take your picture

'Til I die
'Til I die
'Til I die

Lorde - Helen of Troy (Official Audio)

Hey, hey

You've heard it all before
One minute I was killing them all
And the next, the brown suit wouldn't let me perform, aah
Typical
So I took a happy face
And it's coming on like a charm
I don't wanna get lost, I wanna worship the sun
If you want, you can come

I'm in my own little golden age
But it's such a pill when they don't appreciate

So when you smoke that cigarette
Or when you talk shit 'bout an old friend
I know it's hard, but do your best
Give yourself a break, have a little faith, aah
Let's hear it for the girls
Livin' in the modern world, aah

They're bangin' on the door
Everyone, please make way
For the girl who looks like she flew in from outer space
Yesterday
I think I'll wait it out
My little thing is keepin' 'em keen
They could be drinkin' with you, but they'll be lookin' at me
This whole time, I've been playing it coy
The city's fallin' for me just like I'm Helen of Troy, aah

So when you're broke, can't get ahead
Or when you take it out on your boyfriend
I know it's hard, but do your best
Give yourself a break, have a little faith
Let's hear it for the girls
Livin' in the modern world, aah

Give yourself a break, have a little faith
Let's hear it for the girls
Livin' in the modern world
Let's hear it for the girls (let's hear it for the girls)
Livin' in the modern world (livin' in the modern world)

Lorde - Stoned at the Nail Salon (Visualiser)

Got a wishbone dryin' on the windowsill in my kitchen
Just in case I wake up and realize I've chosen wrong
I love this life that I have, the vine hangin' over the door
And the dog who comes when I call, but I wonder sometimes what I'm missin'

Well, my hot blood's been burnin' for so many summers now
It's time to cool it down, wherever that leads

'Cause all the beautiful girls, they will fade like the roses
And all the times they will change, it'll all come around
I don't know
Maybe I'm just stoned at the nail salon
Maybe I'm just stoned at the nail salon again

Got a memory of waitin' in your bed wearin' only my earrings
We'd go dancin' all over the landmines under our town
But the sun has to rise, when it does, we'll divide up the papers
Two former hell-raisers, I'm still crazy for you, babe

Well, my hot blood's been burnin' for so many summers now
It's time to cool it down, wherever that leads

'Cause all the music you loved at sixteen, you'll grow out of
And all the times they will change, it'll all come around
I don't know
Maybe I'm just
Maybe I'm just stoned at the nail salon again

Oh, make it good
Oh, make it good
I'd ride and I'd ride on the carousel
'Round and 'round forever if I could
But it's time to cool it down
Whatever that means

Spend all the evenings you can with the people who raised you
'Cause all the times they will change, it'll all come around
I don't know
Maybe I'm just stoned at the nail salon
Maybe I'm just stoned at the nail salon again

Lorde - Fallen Fruit

To the ones who came before us
All the golden ones who were lifted on a wing
We had no idea the dreams we had were far too big
Far too big

And we will walk together
Psychedelic garlands in our hair
Through the halls of splendor where the apple trees all grew
You'll leave us dancing on the fallen fruit
The fallen fruit
The fallen fruit
The fallen fruit

From the Nissan, to the Phantom, to the plane
We'll disappear in the cover of the rain
Took the great minds and the vapers
And a pocketful of seed
It's time for us to leave

And we will walk together
Psychedelic garlands in our hair
But how can I love what I know I am gonna lose?
Don't make me choose

Moody, I’m like you Lorde bullshipping on the flown genesis of ‘Solar Power’, retreating from the glare of celebrity, and her bevy of secret talents, ooh!

Lorde - Secrets from a Girl (Who's Seen it All)

Dancing with my girls, only having two drinks, then leaving

It's a funny thing, thought you’d never gain self-control

Guess it's been a while since you last said sorry

Crying in the dark at your best friends' parties

You’ve had enough, gotta turn the lights up, go home

Couldn't wait to turn fifteen

Then you blink and it's been ten years

Growing up a little at a time, then all at once

Everybody wants the best for you

But you gotta want it for yourself, my love

You can take 'em if you want 'em, these are just

Secrets from a girl who's seen it all

Secrets from a girl who's seen it

Secrets from a girl

Secrets from a girl who's seen it all

Secrets from a girl (Secrets from a girl)

Secrets from a girl who’s seen it all

’Member all the hurt you would feel when you weren't desired? (Doing anything for more touch)

’Member what you thought was grief before you got the call?

Baby girl, no one's gonna feel the pain for you

You're gonna love again, so just try staying open

And when the time comes, you'll fall

Yeah, when the time comes, you’ll fall

Your dreams and inner visions

All your mystical ambitions, they won't let you down

Do your best to trust all the rays of light

Everybody wants the best for you

But you've gotta want it for yourself, my love

Couldn't wait to turn fifteen, then you just go

Secrets from a girl who's seen it all

Secrets from a girl who's seen it

Secrets from a girl

Secrets from a girl who's seen it all

Secrets from a girl (Secrets from a girl)

Secrets from a girl who's seen it all

Welcome to Sadness

The temperature is unbearable until you face it

Thank you for flying with Strange Airlines, I will be your tour guide today

Your emotional baggage can be picked up at carousel number two

Please be careful so it doesn't fall onto someone you love

When we've reached your final destination, I will leave you to it

You'll be fine

I'm just gonna show you in and, um...

You can stay as long as you need to get familiar with the feeling

And then when you're ready, I'll be outside, and...

We can go look at the sunrise by euphoria, mixed with existential vertigo?

Cool...

Lorde - Solar Power

I hate the winter, can't stand the cold
I tend to cancel all the plans (so sorry, I can't make it)
But when the heat comes, something takes a hold
Can I kick it? Yeah, I can

My cheeks in high color, overripe peaches
No shirt, no shoes, only my features
My boy behind me, he's taking pictures
Lead the boys and girls onto the beaches
Come one, come all, I'll tell you my secrets
I'm kinda like a prettier Jesus

Forget all of the tears that you've cried
It's over (over, over, over)
It's a new state of mind
Are you coming, my baby?

Acid green, aquamarine
The girls are dancing in the sand
And I throw my cellular device in the water
Can you reach me? No, you can't (aha)

My cheeks in high color, overripe peaches
No shirt, no shoes, only my features
My boy behind me, he's taking pictures (he's taking pictures)
Lead the boys and girls onto the beaches
Come one, come all, I'll tell you my secrets
I'm kinda like a prettier Jesus

Turn it on in a new kind of bright
It's solar (solar, solar, solar)
Come on and let the bliss begin
Blink three times when you feel it kicking in

That solar-olar-olar power
Solar-olar-olar power
Solar-olar-olar power
Solar-olar-olar power
Solar-olar-olar power (oh)
Solar-olar-olar power

Lorde - Mood Ring

I'm tryna blow bubbles, but inside
Can't seem to fix my mood
Today it's as dark as my roots
If I, if I ever let them grow out (ah-ah)
Now all of my oceans have riptides
Can't seem to find what's wrong
The whole world is letting me down
Don't you think the early 2000s seem so far away? (Ay-ay-ay-ay)

Ladies, begin your sun salutations
Transcendental in your meditations (love and light)
You can burn sage, and I'll cleanse the crystals
We can get high, but only if the wind blows (blows just right)

I can't feel a thing
I keep looking at my mood ring
Tell me how I'm feeling
Floating away, floating away

I'm tryna get well from the inside
Plants and celebrity news, all the vitamins I consume
Let's fly somewhere eastern, they'll have what I need (they'll have what I need)
Let's go

Ladies, begin your sun salutations
Pluto in Scorpio generation (love and light)
You can burn sage, and I'll cleanse the crystals
We can get high, but only if the wind blows (blows just right, ri-ri-ri-right)

I can't feel a thing
I keep looking at my mood ring
Tell me how I'm feeling
Floating away, floating away
All the sad girls sing
We'll keep dancing 'til the mood rings
Tell us how we're feeling
We're floating away, floating away

Take me to some kinda
Take me to some kinda
Take me to some kinda place (anywhere)
Watch the sun set, look back on my life (take me to some kinda)
I just wanna know, will it be alright? (Take me to some kinda)
Take me to some kinda place (anywhere)

As a cosmic or karmic coincidence, I’m a heart cap, a kind of soft, flat hat, typically with a visor, a simple man wearing a raincoat and a flat cap, a flat out CFB having oceanic feelings. I’m a windows-down, to-the-beach exulting aural wave devouring you. Lorde just singing for us …

Lorde - Oceanic Feeling

It's a blue day
We could jump Bulli
When I hit that water
When it holds me
I think about my father
Doing the same thing
When he was a boy
When he was a boy
It's a blue day
We could go fishing
You'll catch the big one
Ah

Sliding the knife under the skin
Grateful for this offering
And all the living things under the sun
Under the sun

Little brother, I think you're an angel
I see your silver chain levitate
When you're kickflipping
Baby boy, you're super cool
I know you're scared, so was I
But all will be revealed in time (time, time)

Oh, look, the rays are in the bay now
Can you hear the waves and the cicadas all around?
I can make anything real
Brain so hot, it's a summer body
Every day is blue and never cloudy
Don't look down
I can make anything real

In the future
If I have a daughter
Will she have my waist
Or my widow's peak?
My dreamer's disposition or my wicked streak?

Will she split a tab with her lover?
Laugh at the stars like her mother
When she was a girl?
When she was a girl?

Now the cherry-black lipstick's gathering dust in a drawer
I don't need her anymore
'Cause I got this power
Just had to breathe (breathe out, breathe out, breathe out, breathe out)
And tune in (tune in, tune in, tune in, tune in)
I just had to breathe (breathe out, breathe out, breathe out, breathe out)
And tune in (tune in, tune in, tune in, tune in)
I just had to breathe
And tune in
I just had to breathe
And tune in
I just had to breathe

Oh, was enlightenment found?
No, but I'm trying, taking it one year at a time
Oh, oh, can you hear the sound?
It's shimmering higher
On the beach, I'm building a pyre
(Use the wood brought in by the tide)
I know you'll show me how, I'll know when it's time to
Take off my robes and step into the choir

Lorde - Leader of a New Regime

Wearing SPF 3000 for the ultraviolet rays
Made it to the island on the last of the outbound planes (Ah-ah)
Got a trunk full of Simone and Céline, and of course, my magazines
I'm gonna live out my days

Won't somebody, anybody, be the leader of a new regime?
Free the keepers of the burnt-out scene another day
Lust and paranoia reign supreme
We need the leader of a new regime.

Lorde - The Path

Born in the year of OxyContin
Raised in the tall grass
Teen millionaire having nightmares from the camera flash
Now I'm alone on a windswept island
Caught in the complex divorce of the seasons
Won't take the call if it's the label or the radio

Arm in a cast at the museum gala
Fork in my purse to take home to my mother
Supermodels all dancing 'round a pharaoh's tomb

Now if you're looking for a saviour, well, that's not me
You need someone to take your pain for you?
Well, that's not me
'Cause we are all broken and sad
Where are the dreams that we had?
Can't find the dreams that we had

Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah
Let's hope the sun will show us the path, path
Let's hope the sun will show us the path, path
I just hope the sun will show us the path

Saviour, it's not me
I just hope the sun will show us the path
Saviour is not me
I just hope the sun will show us the path, path
Path

By the way, did you notice, on closer inspection, that Lorde’s songs contain sublime musings on grief, love, fame, and ageing, with a dash of satire and Lordely wit for good measure? Just feeling, bedly …

.

.

Oh lawd, do you low need me high to be shaping the TikTok experience? Because your own sense of image and self is developing, and I feel very protective of that, though I’m not your saviour, and I don’t want other people’s weird shit to get cooked into that, you know. Not to get bloated, CFB! Me CERTIFIED FUCK BOY getting away from negativity … ah oh oooo Lorde …