Cardi A & Cardi B & Cardi O Arrest
I'm not Tom Cardy, me Satan Claws, baby, to dee-liver you from your Kris Kross, I mean gross Krissmess. A berry enjoyable love clause that shows all sides of the character at once as tender, cynical.
Baby, ya, I’m telling you I’m not Tom, the mean dude, duda, or doubt, you don’t have to figure that out. Tom is the male of various animals, especially a turkey or domestic cat, even a prostitute in UK slang, or in music, a type of drum, baby bum bum bum, baby boom boom boom, baby bump bump bump, ya! To tell you the truth, I was a hip hop kid of the 80s and 90s, I loved the Kris Kross duo, so there’s nothing to free you from, in that hip hop sense.
And I’m not even Santa Cause, watch the last effin’ video! Santa Claus gone totally rogue? Who? Me? You mean you who! You who? Me? Me you? Nope, not me! Tom Cardy is Cardi A, ya! Cause in the end I might be Tom, cause I am not Santa Cause, I’m used as a unisex name, with the meaning of "innocence, naivety, simplicity" or "the end.” Ya, you know cardio arrest.
Because of this terrorifugly disgusting silicon Cardi B! My skateboard stubbornly refuses to ride her rump, I meant ramp, rampage. Foe Yo Nymphomation, rump iz A surface (Cardi A) connecting a higher (Cardi B) and a lower level (Cardi O); a slope (Arrest). A wide ramp is also a Silicon Valley road that lets you drive onto or leave a large road, such as an XXXpressway: an entrance/exit ramp.
She’s not my Queen, not my Qute, not my Barbie to play with. Baby, you are, ya! This terrorifugly disgusting silicon Cardi B is desperately trying to usurp your throne, she’s desperately trying to steal my attention and steel Mr. Dixie’s I-Fell-Towers, like she were some fucking Paris! Baby, I’m going on the record, ya, trashing her, to dethrone her, bu bu butt my gawd, I’m like your little tiger thrashing in the water, ya!
Or police cardiyuck arrest, ya, also known as sudden cardiac arrest, is when the heart stops beating suddenly, ya. The lack of blood flow to the brain and other organs can cause a seriously silly parson to lose consciousness, become disabled, you know my marital status quo, baby, or die if not treated immediately. I mean, dye my grayish hair, with the color of your pubic hair, of course, maybe? I mean, if you don’t mind, my Illuminaughty illuminating my way, ya. Or should I say healphily ill-luminating my phuth, perv, sorry, path. Cause if a loved one experiences love symptoms of cardiac arrest, call 911 immediately, or your fyvoUrite doctore Love Love U me, Yummy, your Yummy my Yummy!!!
Mummy mummy, puppy puppy not humpee not humpee, nut humpee, nut humpee! I mean not huppy not huppy with Cardi B! I gotta snitch on her, ya, she’s such a bed beach, she terrorizes me, Santa Perra, she’s the real Isis! I meant Santa Fiera! No? Oh, sorry, Santa Tierra, Holy Fuck, in Spanish! No? Cardi B, ya, that bad bad bitch? That foul-mouthed negra bleach I could not afford, thank God and Virgin Mary, to buy on Ibiza, the real fugly, leather-laced, terror-unfookable, ketchupped pizza I could not, thank God and Virgin Mary, eat on Ibiza! Yeah, Cardi B, ya, da anarchist gangsta rappah, baby! I don’t want her pizza! Baby, I want yours, ya, of course!!!
Ya, listen to her fogged up vernacular, ya, her a colonial bitch! No? Her colloquial sbeech! Sorry, venerubbish speech, such an earthen bitch, like a bed hillside adjacent to the earthen damn! Nay nay, baby, we don’t like beaches like that, no Ibizas, no pizzas, nay nay! And yet yay yay, bu bu butt not whatchoo think, nah! Baby Police, can you like arrest her before she gives me my last cardiyuck and cardiyikes bee arrest? Yes? Yes? Like yes? Oh ya!!! No more Cardi B, Cardi B no more, such a whore! Sex you berry much, baby, my overly positive baby, ya, now I can rest in peace, ya, for a cuppa negative minutes!
Ohio, o hi o, and puppy puppy must also complain to mummy mummy not huppy not huppy either about Satan Claws, aka Tom Cardy, with Y, Cardi A to begin with, ya, that he treated me so harshly last Christmas, giving me shit under the Christmas tree and even calling me some fucking Geoffrey. The whole Internet says he’s such a big dumb idiot, which I’m obviously not, right, Olympically nut, baby? Ha? Ya? Baby, you know I’m your Lee, your Infinite 8, ya, and I behave? I behaved last year too, I loved and love choo!!! Why did I get shit for Christmas, ha? Santa Claus owes me, right, baby? Ha? Ya, I was never naughty, ya, I was always nice, right, baby? Ha? I’m not naughty, I’m only nice. Ha? Mummy mummy, puppy puppy not huppy not huppy!
Cardi B & Bruno Mars - Please Me (Official Video)
Uh, uh, yeah, come on
Please me, baby
Turn around and just tease me, baby
You got what I want and what I need, baby
(Let me hear you say)
Please
(Let me hear you say)
Please
Please me, baby
Turn around and just tease me, baby
You got what I want and what I need, baby
(Let me hear you say)
Please
(Let me hear you say)
Please (woo)
Lollipoppin' (poppin'), twerkin' in some J's (ooh)
On the dance floor (uh-huh), no panties in the way (nope)
I take my time with it (ow), bring you close to me (ow)
Don't want no young dumb shit
Better fuck me like we listenin' to Jodeci
I was tryna lay low (low), takin' it slow (slow)
When I'm fuckin' again (ayy)
Gotta celebrate, if you're man look good, better put him away
If you can't sweat the weave out, you shouldn't even be out
Dinner reservations like the pussy, you gon' eat out
I'm gonna ride it, do it just how you like it
Tonight and after that
Let's do it one more time
Girl, I ain't one for beggin', but now you got me beggin'
Please me, baby
Turn around and just tease me, baby
You got what I want and what I need, baby
(Let me hear you say)
Please
(Let me hear you say)
Please (woo)
Please me, baby
Turn around and just tease me, baby
You got what I want and what I need, baby
(Let me hear you say)
Please
(Let me hear you say)
Please (woo)
Booty so round (round), booty so soft (soft)
Bet you wanna smack it again (ayy)
Let me demonstrate
Hit it one time, make it levitate
Titties out like blaka (blaka)
Broke bitches watch out now (watch out)
Your pussy basura (basura)
My pussy horchata (oh)
I'm gonna ride it, do it just how you like it
Tonight and after that (ooh)
Let's do it one more time
Girl, I ain't one for beggin', but now you got me beggin'
Please me, baby
Turn around and just tease me, baby
You got what I want and what I need, baby
(Let me hear you say)
Please
(Let me hear you say)
Please (woo)
Come on
Come on, back it up for me
Come on
Ooh, twerk it on me slowly
Come on
Girl, let me put this lovin' on you
You better say that shit (uh)
Cardi don't play that shit (yeah)
Do my back like I do these records, break that shit
Please me, baby (uh)
Turn around and just tease me, baby (uh, ooh)
You got what I want and need, baby (yes)
(Let me hear you say)
Please
(Let me hear you say)
Please (woo)
Please me, baby
Turn around and tease me, baby
You got what I want and need, baby
(Let me hear you say)
Please
(Let me hear you say)
Please (woo)
Cardi B - Bodak Yellow [OFFICIAL MUSIC
It's Cardi
Ayy
Said I'm the shit, couldn't fuck with me if they wanted to
I don't gotta dance
Said little bitch, you can't fuck with me
If you wanted to
These expensive, these is red bottoms
These is bloody shoes
Hit the store, I can get 'em both
I don't wanna choose
And I'm quick, cut a nigga off
So don't get comfortable
Look, I don't dance now
I make money moves (ayy, ayy)
Say I don't gotta dance
I make money move
If I see you and I don't speak
That means I don't fuck with you
I'm a boss, you a worker, bitch
I make bloody moves
Now she says she gon' do what to who?
Let's find out and see, Cardi B
You know where I'm at
You know where I be
You in the club just to party
I'm there, I get paid a fee
I be in and out them banks so much
I know they're tired of me
Honestly, don't give a fuck
'Bout who ain't fond of me
Dropped two mixtapes in six months
What bitch working as hard as me?
I don't bother with these hoes
Don't let these hoes bother me
They see pictures, they say, "Goals"
Bitch, I'm who they tryna be
Look, I might just chill in some Bape
I might just chill with your boo
I might just feel on your babe
My pussy feel like a lake
He wanna swim with his face
I'm like, "Okay"
I'll let him do what he want
He buy me Yves Saint Laurent
And the new whip
When I go fast as a horse
I got the trunk in the front
I'm the hottest in the street
Know you prolly heard of me
Got a bag and fixed my teeth
Hope you hoes know it ain't cheap
And I pay my mama bills
I ain't got no time to chill
Think these hoes be mad at me
Their baby father run a bill
Said little bitch, you can't fuck with me
If you wanted to
These expensive, these is red bottoms
These is bloody shoes
Hit the store, I can get 'em both
I don't wanna choose
And I'm quick, cut a nigga off
So don't get comfortable
Look, I don't dance now
I make money moves (ayy, ayy)
Say I don't gotta dance
I make money move
If I see you and I don't speak
That means I don't fuck with you
I'm a boss, you a worker, bitch
I make bloody moves
If you a pussy you get popped
You a goofy, you a opp
Don't you come around my way
You can't hang around my block
And I just checked my accounts
Turns out, I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich
I put my hand above my hip
I bet, you dip, he dip, she dip
I say, I get the money and go
This shit is hot like a stove
My pussy glitter as gold
Tell that lil' bitch play her role
I just arrove in a Rolls
I just came up in a Wraith
I need to fill up the tank
No, I need to fill up the safe
I need to let all these hoes know
That none of they niggas is safe
I go to dinner and steak
Only the real can relate
I used to live in the P's
Now it's a crib with a Gate
Rollie got charms, look like Frosted Flakes
Had to let these bitches know
Just in case these hoes forgot
I just run and check the mail
Another check from Mona Scott
Said little bitch, you can't fuck with me
If you wanted to
These expensive, these is red bottoms
These is bloody shoes
Hit the store, I can get 'em both
I don't wanna choose
And I'm quick, cut a nigga off
Don't get comfortable
Look, I don't dance now
I make money moves (ayy, ayy)
Say I don't gotta dance
I make money move
If I see you and I don't speak
That means I don't fuck with you
I'm a boss, you a worker bitch
I make bloody moves (bloody moves)
Cardi B, Bad Bunny & J Balvin - I Like It [Official Music Video]
Yeah baby, I like it like that
You gotta' believe me when I tell you
I said I like it like that
You gotta' believe me when I tell you
I said I like it like
Now I like dollars, I like diamonds, I like stunting, I like shining
I like million dollar deals, where's my pen, bitch I'm signin' (Signin')
I like those Balenciagas (Those), the ones that look like socks
I like going to the jeweler, I put rocks all in my watch (Cha-ching)
I like texts from my exes, when they want a second chance (What?)
I like proving niggas wrong, I do what they say I can't (She can't)
They call me Cardi Bardi, banging body, spicy mami, hot tamale
Hotter than a Somali, fur coat, Ferrari
Hop out the stu', jump in the coupe (Coupe)
Big Dipper on top of the roof
Flexing on bitches as hard as I can
Eating halal, driving the Lam'
Told that bitch I'm sorry (Sorry)
'Bout my coins like Mario (Mario)
Yeah they call me Cardi B
I run this shit like cardio
Oh, damn
Diamond district in the jag (Gang, I said I like it like that)
Certified, you know I'm gang, gang (Gang, gang I said I like it like)
Drop the top and blow the brains, wouh (Wouh! I said I like it like that)
Oh he's so handsome, what's his name? (Yeah, wouh, I said I like it)
Oh I need the dollars, cha-ching (I said I like it like that)
Beat it up like piñatas (I said I like it like)
Tell the driver, close the curtains (I said I like it like that, skrt)
Bad bitch make him nervous (I said I like it)
Cardi B
Chambean, chambean, pero no jalan (¡Jalan!)
Tú compras to'a las Jordan, bo', a mí me las regalan (Hehe-he)
I spend in the club (wouh), what you have in the bank (Yeah)
This is the new religion, bang, en Latino gang, gang, yeah
Trato de hacer dieta (Yeah), pero es que en el closet tengo mucha grasa (Wouh)
Ya mudé la' Gucci pa' dentro de casa, yeh (¡Wouh!)
Cabrón, a ti no te conocen ni en Plaza (No)
El Diablo me llama, pero Jesucristo me abraza (Amén)
Guerrero como Eddie, que viva la raza, yeh
Me gustan boricuas, me gustan cubana'
Me gusta el acento de las colombianas (¿Qué hubo pues?)
Como mueve el culo la dominicana (¿Qué lo que?)
Lo rico que me chingan las venezolanas (¡Wouh!)
Andamos activos, Perico Pin Pin (Wouh)
Billetes de cien en el maletín (Ching)
Que retumbe el bajo, Bobby Valentín, yeh (Boo)
Aquí es prohibido amar, diles, Charytín
Que pal' picor les tengo Claritín
Yo llego a la disco y se forma el motín (Rrr)
Diamond district in the jag (Gang, I said I like it like that)
Bad Bunny baby, bebé, bebé, bebé
Certified, you know I'm gang, gang (Gang, gang I said I like it like)
Drop the top and blow the brains, wouh (Wouh! I said I like it like that)
Oh he's so handsome, what's his name? (Yeah, wouh, I said I like it)
Oh I need the dollars, cha-ching (I said I like it like that)
Beat it up like piñatas (I said I like it like)
Tell the driver, close the curtains (I said I like it like that, skrt)
Bad bitch make him nervous (I said I like it)
Como Celia Cruz tengo el azúcar (azúca')
Tu jeva me vio y se fue de pecho como Jimmy Snuka (Ah)
Te vamos tumbar la peluca
Y arranca pal' carajo, cabrón, que a ti no te vo'a pasar la hookah (Hookah, hookah)
Mis tenis Balenciaga me reciben en la entrada (Wouh)
Pa-pa-pa-parazzi, like I'm Lady Gaga (Wouh)
Y no te me hagas (Hey)
Que en cover de Billboard tú has visto mi cara (Hey)
No salgo de tu mente (Wouh)
Donde quieras que viajes has escuchado "Mi Gente"
Yo no soy high (high), soy como el Testarossa ('Rossa)
Yo soy el que se la vive y también el que la goza (Goza, goza)
Es la cosa, mami es la cosa (Cosa, cosa)
El que mira sufre y el que toca goza (Goza, goza)
I said I like it like that
I said I like it like that (Rrr)
I said I like it like that (Wouh)
I said I like it like that
Diamond district in the jag (Gang, I said I like it like that)
Certified, you know I'm gang, gang (Gang, gang I said I like it like)
Drop the top and blow the brains, wouh (I said I like it like that)
Oh he's so handsome, what's his name? (I said I like it)
VIDEO]Cardi B - Like What (Freestyle) [Official Music Video]
Ayo, let me put some gas in this motherfuckin' year, bitch
I ain't really talked my shit in a minute
Like who the fuck these bitches really think they talkin' to?
Like, bitch, is you fuckin' dumb?
Classy and a cunt (and a cunt)
Blocks and money gettin' spunt (gettin' spunt)
Like (like), like what? (Like what?)
Like a Coach bag, baby, this ain't what you want (nah)
If I ask for it, all I wanna hear is yes (yes)
Bitch said she wanna be my opp, God bless (God bless)
Look, I ain't even got dressed
Any L that I took, come after YS
Oh, man (oh man)
Baby, here we go again (here we go again)
Pussy real fat, probably got a double chin
First, that bitch hate me, then this bitch hate me
And somehow, they link up and they become friends (like, how?)
Bitch, pipe down (pipe down)
Moodboard, all y'all imitatin' my style (mm)
Bad bitch, red lips, let me show you
White toes, eatin' yellowtail outta Nobu
Uh, keep a hater obsessed
In my comments, havin' a dick-sucking contest (contest)
I'm pressure, y'all pressed (y'all pressed)
Y'all don't get addressed, y'all's gettin' out dressed, look (ooh!)
It's a look when I'm hoppin' out the B (uh-huh)
Red wig hangin' down to my knees (uh-huh)
It's your birthday, but they talkin' 'bout me ('bout me)
Why you mad? Take a picture, say cheese (say cheese)
You dumb, you slow, you wildin' (ah, you wildin')
Got your first pair of Ricks, now you stylin'? (Ah, you stylin'?)
Everything you got, I had five years before
I put it on the 'Gram before it even hit the store, look
Classy and a cunt (and a cunt, uh-huh)
Blocks and money gettin' spunt (gettin' spunt)
Like (like), like what? (Like what?)
Like a Coach bag, baby, this ain't what you want (uh-huh)
If I ask for it, all I wanna hear is yes (yes)
Bitch said she wanna be my opp, God bless (God bless)
Look, I ain't even got dressed
Any L that I took, come after YS
Oh, man
I know y'all bitches be horsin' (horsin')
Lookin' this good is really exhaustin' (exhaustin')
Diamonds hit, Stone Cold Steve Austin (bling)
Just got my lasered pussy smooth like a dolphin (ah!)
Top-notch bitch get the most, not the lesser (uh)
Bitches look big like third trimester (yes)
Every time I pose, these bitches get stress-er
Y'all be puttin' on shit, I don't never
Bitches be hatin' on the low (I peep it)
If I say anything mean (I mean it)
I ain't never lost no nigga I needed
I'm rich, I ain't gettin' in no pool that's not heated (nah)
Big ass yacht and I'm havin' sex on it
Her life so trash, think I put a hex on it
Bitches be laughin', like, ho, what's funny?
You braggin' on a nigga that be dyin' to fuck me (fuck me)
Classy and a cunt (and a cunt, uh-huh)
Blocks and money gettin' spunt (gettin' spunt)
Like (like), like what? (Like what?)
Like a Coach bag, baby, this ain't what you want (uh-huh)
If I ask for it, all I wanna hear is yes (yes)
Bitch said she wanna be my opp, God bless (God bless)
Look, I ain't even got dressed
Any L that I took, come after YS
Oh, man
Cardi B - Ring (feat. Kehlani) [Official Video]
Ooh, ooh
Ring, ring, ring, ring
You don't hit my line no more, oh, oh
You don't make it ring, ring, ring, ring
I can't keep this on the low
I want you to make it ring, ring, ring, ring
Should I call first? I can't decide
I want to, but a b- got pride
The switchin' up sh- is what I can't f- with
I'm feelin' you but you hard to get in touch with
And you ain't hit me up in a while
Actin' like you don't know what number to dial
You quit, then that's it, I'ma throw in the towel
'Cause a n- only gon' do what you allow
You don't want this gun smoke
Learn to text with your nose if your thumb broke
I don't care if we gettin' to it and I stall on your a-
But I still wake up to missed calls from your a-
You don't hit my line no more, oh, oh
You don't make it ring, ring, ring, ring
I can't keep this on the low
I want you to make it ring, ring, ring, ring
Nah, n- now you gon' have to call me (call me)
'Cause I'm lookin' at these messages, they all me (yeah)
Actin' like they ain't n- that want me
Let another n- in your spot, and you gon' be hot n- coffee
You gon' be sick to your, stomach
Hit me when you free, 1-800
It's emergency, call me 911
'Cause right now I'm out here tryna find someone
The ring on my phone, ring on my finger (brrr)
You actin' like you ain't tryna do either (yeah)
Once a good girl, watch me turn diva
Here goes my heart, I put it on speaker (oh)
You don't hit my line no more, oh, oh
You don't make it ring, ring, ring, ring
I can't keep this on the low
I want you to make it ring, ring, ring, ring
You used to be on my line
On my tick all the time, yeah
Love it when you make me feel
Like you don't mind when I ain't got time for you
And no it don't go to my head, I'm only arrogant in bed
I just love to know you wanna spend time with me instead
Now you all caught up, yeah
You all caught up and you done left me alone, yeah
You was all fed up
Ready for the next step, wanna be on your own
Said I just miss you, I just miss us, baby
All I know is
You don't hit my line no more, oh, oh
You don't make it ring, ring, ring, ring (you don't make it ring, baby)
I can't keep this on the low (yeah, yeah, oh)
I want you to make it ring, ring, ring, ring
Migos, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B - MotorSport (Official Video)
Yeah, skrrt
M-M-M-Murda
Motorsport, yeah, put that thing in sport (skrrt, skrrt)
Shawty bad (bad), pop her like a cork (pop it)
You a dork, never been a sport (dork, yeah)
Pull up (woo, woo), jumpin' out the court (court, jump)
Cotton candy (drink), my cup tastes like the fair (cotton)
Straight up there (where?) we didn't take the stairs (where?)
Faced my fears (fears), gave my mama tears (mama)
Shiftin' gears (shift), on the Nawf, get serious (serious)
Face all your fears, then get at me
Hit so many donuts on them backstreets
Sit so high in the nosebleeds (yeah)
Feel like I can fly, yeah
Xans, Perky, check (yeah), Bill Belichick
Take the air out the ball, just so I can flex
Take the air out the mall, walkin' with the sacks
Take the air out your broad (hey), now she can't go back
Xans, Perky, check (yeah), Bill Belichick
Take the air out the ball (yeah), just so I can flex
Take the air out the mall (hey, walk in with the sacks)
Take the air out your broad (woo, woo, woo, E)
Girl, yeah, yeah
I wish my grandma could see me (grandma)
Take away, pain ain't easy (pain)
That's why I fire up a bleezy (fire)
Niggas not cappin' this season
Offset
The coupe came imported (hey)
This season's Off-White come in snorted (white)
Green Lamborghini a tortoise (Lambo)
No human being, I'm immortal (no)
Patek and A.P. full of water (Patek)
Hundred K, I spend on my señora (racks)
My pinky on margarine, butter (margarine)
And my ears got McDonald's nuggets (ayy)
Soon, as I land on the Leer (whew)
Piguets, they wet, tears ('guets)
488, hit the gears (488)
Suicide doors, Britney Spears
I'm boujee, so, bitch, don't get near (boujee)
Criss Angel, make dope disappear (voila)
Hit the gas, it got flames out the rears (skrrt)
It's a race to the bag, get the mills (hey)
Ride the dick like a BMX
No nigga wanna be my ex (no)
I love, when he go on tour
'Cause he cums more, when I see him less
I get upset off, I turn Offset on
I told him the other day
Man, we should sell that porn
Yeah, Cardi B, I'm back, bitches
I don't wanna hear I'm actin' different
Same lips that be talkin' 'bout me
Is the same lips that be ass kissin'
These hoes ain't, what they say they are
And their pussy stank, they're catfishin'
Same hoes, that was sendin' shots
They reachin' out like their back itchin'
Why would I hop in some beef (why?)
When I could just hop in a Porsche?
You heard she gon' do what from who?
That's not a reliable source, no
So tell me, have you seen her?
Let me wrap my weave up
I'm the trap Selena
Dame más gasolina (skrrt)
Motorsport, yeah, put that thing in sport (skrrt, skrrt)
Shawty bad (bad), pop her like a cork (pop it)
You a dork, never been a sport (dork, yeah)
Pull up (woo, woo), jumpin' out the court (court, jump)
Cotton candy (drink), my cup tastes like the fair (cotton)
Straight up there (where?), we didn't take the stairs (where?)
Faced my fears (fears), gave my mama tears (mama)
Shiftin' gears (shift), on the Nawf, get serious (serious)
Uh, yo, watch your man, then you should watch your mouth
Bitches is pressed, administer mouth to mouth
You see them stats, you know, what I am about
I am the champ, I'm Iron Mike in a bout
Attention, I'ma need you to face front
You don't want smoke with me, this is a laced blunt
Rap's Jackie Chan, we ain't pullin' them fake stunts
My crown won't fit on your bum ass lace fronts (uh)
You bitches catchin' a fade, shout out my nigga Lil Boosie
All of your friends'll be dead, you can get hit with that Uzi
I call him Ricky, he say he love me like Lucy
Get you a straw nigga, you know this pussy is juicy
This Givenchy is custom made, now you can't get it at Saks though
I don't work in no office, but they copyin' and that's facts though
I ain't tryna be violent, but if Nicki on it, it slaps, ho
Get you lined for that paper like a loose leaf when that strap blow
I'm with a couple bad bitches that'll rip the party
Quavo the QB, I'm Nick Lombardi
Pull up in the space coupe, I done linked with Marty
I can actually afford to get a pink Bugatti
"Yo Nick, didn't you just do a hit with Gotti?"
That too, but my niggas send hits like Gotti
It's a wrap, like the things on the head of a Saudi
Bitch, you my son, go and sit on the potty (rrrr)
Brand new Chanels (Chanels)
I stepped on runnin' from 12 (12)
Ain't make no commitment with none of you bitches
'Cause money is treatin' me well (uh uh)
If Nicki should show me her titty
Right hand on the Bible, I swear I won't tell (swear)
If I get to play with that kitty
I wonder how many platinums we gon' sell (albums)
Pop a Perc and catch a feel (I pop one)
Now I cannot feel the wheel (woah)
My chest bad, give me chills
And the left hand on Richard Mille (ice)
Not the watch, but the price on the ice
If you don't know what that is (huh)
Motorsport, motorville
Abort the mission, that's a kill (pew, pew, brrr)
Motorsport, yeah, put that thing in sport (skrrt, skrrt)
Shawty bad (bad), pop her like a cork (pop it)
You a dork, never been a sport (dork, yeah)
Pull up (woo, woo), jumpin' out the court (court, jump)
Cotton candy (drink), my cup tastes like the fair (cotton)
Straight up there (where?) we didn't take the stairs (where?)
Faced my fears (fears), gave my mama tears (mama)
Shiftin' gears (shift), on the Nawf, get serious (serious)
Tom Cardy - "Naughty or Nice" (Official Music Video)
Naughty or nice, naughty or nice
I don't really care so I'm checking it once
Libor laws and we're short on supplies
So I'm taking liberties with the naughty or nice
Johnny is a good boy and donates his money
But he thinks Dane Fook is funny, naughty
D Nica owns a car and gives her friends rides
Even though they don't go far she makes them pay for petrol, naughty
Michael farts in his hand then holds it on his brother's face
Pretty fucking funny but also pretty naughty
Joanna says thank you, is generally good
But all her answers on dating apps are food, that's basic
Naughty or nice, naughty or nice
I'm the big boy, so I decidе, baby
If everybody's on the naughty list
It mеans that I don't have to deliver shit
Hey, Santa, do you have a moment?
Oh, hello Geoffrey, back so soon from your court-mandated coffee break, you Marxist fuck?
You can't talk to me that Santa, and you gotta stop taking liberties with the naughty list, okay?
I can do whatever I want, I'm Santa Claus, baby
Why don't you go make me some more PS5s you lazy little communist?
That's not the point
You've made me seventeen PS5s
They are very difficult
For the entire fucking world so why don't you stay in your lane, Geoffrey?
Santa, as your head of staff, I strongly advise-
Oh, now you're strongly advising me, are you?
Come on, mate-
Whose face is on a Coca Cola bottle, Geoffrey?
Not getting into this-
Is it your face, Geoffrey?
Just listen-
Have they started a new campaign? Geoffrey, have I been drinking old Coca Cola
And have somehow missed your fucking face on all of the new Coca Cola bottles, huh?
Fuck you, Santa
Fuck off, Geoffrey
Phillip was named Phillip when he was born
But he makes his friends call him Felipe, I think that's naughty
Chris Pratt doing an Italiano accent for Mario
Here we go, right on my naughty list
A naughty man named Billy who touches his dirty willy
When he thinks no one is watching, I'm watching, that's naughty
Every single elf that signed up to unionize, here is a surprise, you are all assholes
All through the year, I've been watching you
While you're been asleep, while you've been awake
While you've learnt to bake bread
I hear you say "I want to be the best me"
Fucking baking bread is boring, and that makes you naughty
"I'm gonna start rollerskating" then you spend your time inside
Drinking red wine and masturbating, naughty
Eleven months of the year my job is just to watch you
So next year find something fucking entertaining to do
Naughty or nice, naughty or nice
I couldn't give a fuck and you can check on that twice, baby
And if I hear you complaining about me
I slap you harder than I slap that massive elf nerd, Geoffrey
Fuck you, Santa
No, fuck you, Geoffrey
Naughty or nice, naughty or nice
I'm the big boy, so I get what I like, baby
And what I like is telling every boy and girl
In the whole wide world that they're very, very, very not good
Naughty or nice, naughty or nice
I'm the big boy, and I'm bona fide, baby
If everybody's on the naughty list, it means that
Santa Claus does not owe you shit