The Milky Way Melancholy
We never ignore our pains, but, fortunately, we never collapse into utter despair. Only we can make a dark song sound this beautifully uplifting, real potent. We baby ourselves ... sort of.
We are a broad band of light that can be seen in the night sky and that is caused by the light of a very large number of faint stars. In the Milky Way melancholy, so far, we are split so far. Our solar love atom system is in the galaxy, where we survive. It is coming of age and the afterlife. Like a heaviness of spirit. Where temporary happiness seems to be a real possibility, although perhaps only for the happy few. Us? Why not us? Us! Us! Us!
Strangely, this melancholy is not rage or bitterness. Seen objectively, it is more like a heightened sadness that wells up when we unwittingly realize that suffering and a degree of disappointment are inevitable at some point or another. These emotions are hard wired into human existence. People with melancholic temperament should not stay in dark and dim places for long. They should not take cold showers, whoops, and stand in front of an air cooler. Living in warm and humid areas suit these people.
I should be calm and quiet, despite my powerful internal emotions. I should choose to hide my feelings, but I will not, I cannot! I am the storm, I am riding the storm you have provoked but have not! We just master ways of settling wisely and fruitfully into unhappiness. If we can refer to better and worse ways of suffering, then melancholy deserves to be celebrated as the optimal means of encountering the catastrophe of being alive. This is the best kind of despair in the school of life. Given the scale of the challenges we are up against, our goal is not invariably to seek out routes to hope and good cheer. If we do not teach each other, we learn. And if we do not learn, then what do we do? We are lovers in the beginning, we are lovers in the end, we will always whisper to each other we are ghosts again …
Patiently, I am, starving for any of your words. Even more so, you are, nourish, nurture the hidden yet revealed art of silence I fall for like a helicopter without fuel struggling to avoid a crash like the deepest scar. Shamelessly, I keep on exploding, so raw crawling through the dirt instead of demanding to be hoisted in thrones. The Milky Way gets its name from a Greek myth about the goddess Hera who sprayed milk across the sky. Every explosion stimulates the release of comforting hormones. Whoops! Did she just do that?
Melancholy acts as a self-reflection, but over the darker areas of life. It is a nostalgia of the times we may and must have lost, and the grief that comes with it. It is pleasant to spend time remembering the past, the present, the future, even though parts of them definitely hurt. As Victor Hugo put it, “Melancholy is the happiness of being sad.” The treasure we have found, to enjoy. For how much longer? For all eternity? The satisfaction of desires that would only bring boredom sounds like heaven …
Is melancholy a source of strength or weakness, or both? Is it neither good nor bad, neither a blessing nor a curse, like all the temperaments? Every temperament has its own strengths and weaknesses. It is all in how we handle it. But what if we cannot handle this amount or type of deepening melancholy? Is our love a wonderful and mysterious doorway into the sacred? Are we the beauty of existence? At times even participating in it? But the fullness of it always seems just around the next corner, out of reach, veiled! Can it be accepted by us as a positive good, or twisted to ill? Can it be that there is nothing ugly about it, like with all God’s gifts?
Hungrily, thirsting for your presence makes me a rich man in a complex type of impoverished state drowned in the Milky Way melancholy, involving both painful and pleasurable feelings. You have created me the perfect melancholic, the thinker, an introvert and a pessimist. I am analytical, wise and quiet. Detailed and energized by thinking. I feel so exposed and vulnerable because navigating a meaningful life seems so complicated. Because meaningless is so safe. The person seeks something, seeks it everywhere and passionately – something that he cannot find, an extrovert, an optimist. Moody, I can be artistic. But maybe I am not at all. You tell me what you behold, feel, believe …
You help me focus my slightly deranged mind on positive things, thinking on things that are good instead of things that are negative. This lessens my erratic moodiness, encouraged to show or express my deep and tender feelings in ways that are comfortable to me and to you I love and love more. I want to act and speak unhurriedly to accomplish a task, but you know I cannot, you know I perfectly fail. Loving you like this, baby, I would be so happy without missing you! Jesus, I almost spilled our secret code, that is how bad I want you, and Schopehauer cannot help me as I think of happiness as the satisfaction of desires!
Suffering creates new rooms in the heart, new places for us to exist. This self-absorbing melancholy feels like being near a person you love very much, always in each other’s presence, and then that person suddenly gets up and leaves. Your living room is empty, the seat where your love was is vacant. The feeling is real. It is not abstract. This sense that we are side by side with God but we inhabit two different rooms. There is a threshold between us, way beyond the Milky Way, where there is no epiphany of any scale …
I do not need any advice on happiness, I need you!
Wasted feelings
Broken meanings
Time is fleeting
See what it brings
Hellos, goodbyes, a thousand midnights
Lost in sleepless lullabies
Heaven's dreaming
Thoughtless thoughts, my friends
We know we'll be ghosts again
Sundays shining
Silver linings
Weightless hours
All my flowers
A place to hide the tears that you cried
Everybody says goodbye
Faith is sleeping
Lovers in the end
Whisper we'll be ghosts again
Heaven's dreaming
Thoughtless thoughts, my friends
We know we'll be ghosts again
Faith is sleeping
Lovers in the end
Whisper we'll be ghosts again
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I DON´T BELIEVE IN FINDING HAPPINESS
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Regarding "happiness". Does it find us? Or do we find it? Is it existential, either way?