MAGA GAS CAR

A shoothole is called Madagascar, it is named after Mr Bean´s broken car and my horror at finding it without Mr Bean! I am from Mrickah (America) and this is Frickah (Africa). MAGA GAS CAR!

Get the Madagascar DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/123249

-

Two months ago I received an urgent letter and a parcel from stuttering actor Row Atkinson, aka Mr Bean, soliciting my help. A friend indeed is a friend in need. Normally, he sends me censored love letters, copied and pasted from Playboy, and teddy bears, but when I saw rollerblades I knew there was something slightly off. Although I followed his dumb instruction manual, I put them on while still in my scuba diving gear from South Africa, I could not figure out how to get from point M (Managua) to point M (Madagascar) on his drawn globe map he included for me to decipher. He asked me to use them rollerblades as a means of transport between Nicaragua, Central Mrickah (America) and Madagascar, an island in the Indian Ocean, off the South East coast of Frickah (Africa).

Everybody knows Row is a frickin´genius, like a hundered points more than my 200, he knew what he was doing, so I suspected there was something bloody wrong with the royally screwed rollerblades, some sort of sabotage or conspiracy, because they did not move, they were not self-propelled. So as a smart cookie cutter I instantly gave up, gathered my little entourage, including my depress secretary, a few hookers, and my beloved bodyguard, and flew my chopper there following meticulously Row´s SOS signs strewn like cadavers all along the way. He always does that when we play survival and hunger games. I prayed, hoping the emergency must have already passed somehow because the snail-mail from some United Jackar$$e the Ripper Kingdom to my Banana Republic took two months, plus I hesitated two more months, just to be on the safe side, making sure I would find my friend in need still alive. I failed to refrain from a leap of faith, I jumped off the chopper before landing, straight into the jaws of extreme poverty, finally rushing, after four months, to my multi-millionaire friend´s aid. I was truly sorry for having underrated the word EMERGENCY. Frankly, I thought Mr Bean was just pulling my robotic leg in the hardcore wilderness.

But what I discovered upon my arrival was beyond any words, literally nothing was left of Row. I was shocked, devastated, out of my mind, I started to cry. Such a melodrama. Mr Bean was gone. Only his bloody English car was there, parked, broken down, so solemn, nothing else. I just remembered a moving scene from his Mr Bean series where a powerful tank rolled over his helpless car and how I had always wanted to prevent such a normal traffic accident, holding my breath, crossing my fingers and toes, wishing such a glorious fate on my worst enemy. All in vain! All I managed to shout out of my Covidiot lungs was MAGA GAS CAR!!! I felt like I could not BUILD BACK BETTER Row, Mr Bean, and sobbed endlessly.

I had promised him I would take care of his bloody English car if anything tragic ever happened to him. I was full of remorse and regret, those two months of hesitating whether or not to help my best buddy, plus the two months of snail-mail. I was guilty as hell. There was nobody else to blame. And there is a caveat. Inside the car there were dozens of Playboy issues and teddy bears, which I am still selling and auctioning on Ebay. I came to realize he had really loved me, and I was a dude, a friend in need, a friend indeed! Or that British humour!

Well, now I know why such a shoothole is called Madagascar, it is named after Mr Bean´s broken car and my horror at finding it without Mr Bean! They were inseparable, inseparable like Siamese twins or women´s legs. That bloody English car was classic. When I stepped on the gas, it would not move. Just like the rollerblades. That was odd. Something was slightly off. Something was wrong, I guessed, I thought. I knew I would never think again. Maybe it just needed some gas, and a driver? What a dumbass, my friend, Mr Bean! This time I did feel like a frickin´ genius.

I am sure my incredible, expensive journey to this cheap shoothole has Made America Great Again, tragi-comically pitted against Mr Bean´s broken car Build Back Better! I must admit there is a little mispronunciation there: MAGA GAS CAR

The island's name, Madagascar, is of uncertain origin but historical documents suggest that the Venetian merchant Marco Polo, who did not even visit Madagascar, confused the island with the kingdom of Mogadishu in Somali, East Africa (located slightly north of the Equator), and named it based on mispronunciation.

The nostalgic engine will not start, never again with Mr Bean, never again without Mr Bean.

Madagascar is best known for its lemurs (primitive relatives of monkeys, apes, and humans), colorful chameleons, stunning orchids, and towering baobab trees. Madagascar, home to some of the world's most unique flora and fauna, the planet's oldest island, was formed when it broke away from the Indian continental plate. Madagascar is the 4th largest island on Earth. It produces the largest vanilla harvest in the world, while coffee, sugarcane, and rice are also key agricultural products. With insufficient domestic demand, Madagascar's economy is dependent on the exportation of their agricultural products

• It is one of the “megadiverse” countries in the world.

• Madagascar is the world's biggest producer of high-quality sapphires.

• Its native banana is helping save other banana varieties from extinction.

• Madagascar is a melting pot of delicious food.

With breathtaking views of nature, white sand beaches, stunning rainforest and delicious local food, this spot offers an unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime experience.

-

This time they were not lying … I can confirm all of the above about Madagascar!

Get the Madagascar DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/123249

-

Let me throw in a few more pictures to this free teaser so that you buy the Madagascar DELUXE edition supporting my hard work. Actually, I have never never worked this hard my entire life as these last three dramatic months on Substack! Please check the updated version on Substack in an hour as there is the email length limit. Thank you for choosing my low-budget travel agency.

-

MY PAST WORK, all is available for purchase on Buymeacoffee, the only US-based platform that works with Nicaraguan content creators, the only way I get paid! Browse through all my titles in the Extras section on my Buymeacoffee page. If you desperately need a bulk discount on my Ebooks, hit me, bargain, bargain hard!

-

My Ebooks: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/extras

-

DONATE: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF

-

SUBSCRIBE ON BUYMEACOFFEE ONLY:

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/membership

ONLY $ 7 a month, $ 70 a year

-

All My Ebooks :

-

Get the Athens DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/125845

Get the Greece DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/125719

Get the Hungary DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/125504

Get the Laos DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/125354

Get the Morocco DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/125079

Get the Philippines DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/124900

Get the Turkey DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/124738

Get the Rome DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/124452

Get the Malaysia DELUXE edition

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/124345

Get the Saint Petersburg and Moscow DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/124044

Get the Iran DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/123824

Get My Paradise Lost - The Die Is Cast DELUXE edition

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/123462

Get the Madagascar DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/123249

Get Bad Blood Bonanza PART I Boobalicious & Bootylicious https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/106498

Get Bad Blood Bonanza PART II Beaverlicious & Delivicious https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/122925

Get the Iceland In Gloom PLATINUM Edition, Part II

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/122469

Get the South Africa Safari Maximum Experience DELUXE

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/121611

Get Cradle Of Filth, Hallowed Be! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/121158

Get Ember Signs Of The Alien Nation https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/121131

Get Bohemian Nemesis At Stake https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/121095

Get the Oman DELUXE edition https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/121081

Get USA United Satanic America https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/120780

Get Drown Towards Twilight Beauty https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/120745

Get Death LiveD (Dark Hymns Of Suffering) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/120635

Get The Libertine https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/120618

Get I Wish If Only If Only https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/120606

Get Trespassing Deep Sins Of Barbed Fate https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/120600

Get No Grave Robbery Of All (The Cure) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/120569

Get Sagittarius Total Eclipse https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/120542

Get the Cambodia DELUXE https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/119981

Get the Iceland In Bloom DELUXE https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/119042

Get the Russian Metro DELUXE https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/119617

Get Wielding EndTime Divine, Scythed https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/e/119026

-

It takes me my whole life to crank the handle as I do and this level of commitment is only made possible through donation and subscription income. Share my hard work on your social media and across this platform if you find it worthy, spread my word around! I am most grateful for all your maximum support and privileged to have you as my reader. Thank you.

-

SUBSCRIBE ON BUYMEACOFFEE ONLY:

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/membership

ONLY $ 7 a month, $ 70 a year

-

All My Ebooks: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF/extras

-

DONATE: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lsouralF

ANY AMOUNT YOU CAN …