Homeless No More
Living rough is tough as fuck. I had no roof over my head, living on the streets. It´s where you find all the scum of the earth, all the waste I became. I thought I couldn´t be helped, till you bumped
… into me, a bum. I was homeless, there was no hope for change. I accepted only bills. Would you believe I slept in NYC, LA, Frisco and other parks? I remember one particular winter in 1997 was harsh, I had to register at a Big Apple´s emergency shelter to spend freezing nights, if I wanted to survive. It was that bad. It was like a prison, though, a very well-organized and kind of luxurious hotel for an adventurous hitchhiker from Eastern Europe heading to Hollywood since 1993 to make melons, to do what he liked the most, writing screenplays, directing movies, reciting poetry, all to make people happy, all to ease people´s everyday pain, all for people to enjoy life, as I do, sometimes. Excellent food, a clean bed, cold showers, how I developed a hate-Antarctica trauma, I love hot bubble baths, quality church time, all one needs and doesn´t even deserve. I realized I deserved sheit, I learned some hard lessons. I´ve been grateful.
Yet it was all worth it, all the unbearable suffering, all the excrutiating pain, I finally found home, I found treasure, I found you. I´m homeless no more. I need you, soft as silk on me. I need you, as my blanket, I need you, as my heaven in hell on earth.
You were inside my Homeless Blessing Bag, it was my birthday, it was my Christmas, it was my Valentine! Now I have you unwrapped, thank God! But it wasn´t always like that …
You couldn't tell
Why I felt that way
I felt it everyday
And you couldn't help me
You just watched me make
The same mistakes again
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where I belong
Where I belong
I want to go home
But nobody's home
That's where I lie
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry my eyes
Broken inside
I couldn´t open my eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why
I haven´t been rejected
And now I just can't find
What I left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where I belong
Where I belong
I want to go home
But nobody's home
That's where I lie
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry my eyes
Broken inside
My feelings I don´t really hide
My naive love dreams I can't find
I´m losing my mind
I´m falling behind
I can't find my place
I´m losing my faith
I´m falling from grace
I´m all over the place, yeah
I want to go home
But nobody's home
That's where I lie
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go to
To dry my eyes
Broken inside
I´m lost inside, lost in a sigh, such is life, such is love
I´m lost inside, faint in love, slip and slide
I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind
She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place, yeah
She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside
With no place to go
No place to go to
To dry her eyes
Broken inside
She's lost inside, lost inside
She's lost inside, lost inside
Yeah, it´s a really heartbreaking and depressing song, but it´s our true love song, too, authentic 110%, hitting us very hard, baby, and you know I´m an overly sensitive soul, and so are you, I LOVE YOU!!! You´re on the top playlist of my hole life, I´m taking you with me anywhere I go. You are my home. I come home, no matter I walk alone down a dark road. But yeah, love takes a heavy toll. And, not but, I always come home, I am home, you are my home, I know, you are not alone, you know.
Everyone feels lonely or unwanted sometimes, it´s normal. But when one becomes depressed long-term, it changes the person. They´re not the same person that they used to be, and thus start to feel like they don't belong anywhere. They are lonely, and everything seems hopeless. After being like that for so long, they feel like they´re truly "falling behind" and don't know how to feel better or get back on track. The "nobody's home" line does refer to their feelings like they have no one to go to for comfort or help, for love or life, ´cause to love is the only way to really live, love is life, love is!
Having recently discovered I´m not only on the autism spectrum, but possibly have Asperger's Syndrome, my breakdown song screams from the perspective of the general turmoil of someone living with Asperger's. Making the same mistakes again, don't know where you belong, not really rejected, but feeling you have no place to go, can't find your place, losing your faith, you're scattered and shattered all over the place ... broken inside, that all sounds a lot like what we 'Aspies' go through on a daily basis. And nope, in this love post, I´m not a spy.
One-armed Dumbass Tarzan is an amateur writer and devoted Christian. One-armed doesn´t refer to my trivial disability, that I lost an arm battling death, but it means love, the weapon I wield skillfully like no other. He has a humble passion for writing about topics related to morality and helping the poor and homeless, because he was there, he knows everything about homelessness, about human suffering. And though he had no addiction, he ended up there on the street, on the road, like it were a good road rage movie, really dramatic, and he was such a badass fighting for justice, appointed by God. He is the lead author for the Our Father’s House Soup Kitchen, serving you a spiritual meal, in Jesus´ name. However a bit alienated himself, been through all kinds of traumas, he just generously loves humankind, always ready to help, feeding you, loving you …
Our tax deductible non profit organization Epiphany Beyond A Biblical Scale, and I´m also talking about my disarmed Smartass Jane, also accepts and distributes donations such as underwear, clothing, toiletries, shoes, bicycles, and more. You can donate to help the poor and homeless through our website:
KO-FI: SOME CAFFEINE DOES NO HARM https://ko-fi.com/liborsoural
Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
I´ve gotta philosophize here a bit, there´s a fundamental question. If you had the choice, would you rather be a bullet or a butterfly? The bullet symbolizes aggression, power, and destruction, while the butterfly represents freedom, vulnerability, and fragility. I´ve chosen the butterfly, a curious choice indeed. Baby, I would choose you every single time, even if I had to catch or swallow tons of bullets! ¨Cause I LOVE YOU!!!
However, the phrase “nobody home” is a fairly popular idiom in this Brave New World mess meaning that someone isn't mentally present; one might say of a daydreamer not paying attention to a conversation that “nobody's home”… ie, he might be physically present but his mind is somewhere else, as evidenced by his vacant stare. I´m referring to anybody who either doesn´t relate or doesn´t give a damn about homeless people. I do give a damn, I try to help them as much as I can. Do you?
WILL YOU SUPPORT YOUR HOMEBOY?
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KO-FI: SOME CAFFEINE DOES NO HARM https://ko-fi.com/liborsoural
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THANK YOU!
Homeless is a tough life. I was homeless for a few months after being kicked out of my daughters home where I was living. I ended up under a bridge and in the woods grim January until the first week of April this year. No money. No medications. No oxygen or breathing machines. No nothing but a few clothes I was able to bring out if the home with me. No hospital bed to sleep in. I damn near died.
And anyone that thinks it’s east needs to try it for a couple months.