Gimme The Rocket, Man!

Both maniacs. And both obsessed with their hair. During the nuclear button debate. Only to land on the honey moon. And here comes the first donation for the newlyweds! Kiss, kiss! Kiss? Yikes!

Jun 22, 2023

According to unnamed sources, beloved North Korean public admirer and lover of Trump and doughnuts Kim Jong Un is now attending Columbia University, a prestigious Ivy League school, fool, stool, to learn new brainwashing techniques for his enviably peaceful and lovely regime.

"I thought I knew all there was to know about communist indoctrination, but I was wrong," sobbed the smoking and smoked son of a gun, the gayest weakling to grimacing reporters after sitting through a sizzling 2-hour lecture on why fidget spinners are a remnant of Western patriarchal oppression. "Your American college professors have this down to an art, Viva Capitalismo, only for me!"

Shockingly, Kim Jong Un then waddled over to the food court for all-you-can-eat frozen yogurt, whistling a merry tune as he went, a ruthless follower, a true believer.

According to authorized experts, Ivy League schools in America boast the world's finest anti-Western propaganda and brainwashing techniques. The North Korean democrat, a real requester, expressed hope that his newfound knowledge would help him make his devoted citizens more robotically obedient. Dotard and Retard at it!

"We still have our die-hard hardcore troublemakers, but with these Ivy League techniques a la extinct Trump University, I'll have them eating out of my hand in no time!" he whispered in his mentor´s ear, grabbing him by the ego. Whoops! To which poor billionaire Trump only managed “Kimmy, my Apprentice, you are fired, ya Rocket Man! Bu bu but wait, am I fired, am I the Rocket Man? I dunno, ya tell me, Kimmy, mi amor, gimme the rocket, man!”

The soft leader of North Korea plans to go back to his home country and start his own Ivy League school, fool, stool: Kim Jong UNiversity, nutting new under the sun, actually. He is a partisan, after all, throwing a toddler tantrum after Trumpeep!

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I need a lover to keep me sane
Pull me from hell, bring me back again
Play me the classics
Something romantic
Give him my all when I don't even have it

I always dreamed of a solemn face
Someone who feels like a holiday
But now I'm in pieces
Barely believing
Starting to think that I've lost all feeling

You came out the blue on a rainy night
No lie
I'll tell you how I almost died
While you're bringing me back to life

I just wanna live in this moment forever
'Cause I'm afraid that living couldn't get any better
Started giving up on the word "forever"
Until you gave up heaven, so we could be together

You're my angel
Angel baby, angel
You're my angel, baby
Baby, you're my angel
Angel baby

I fall in love with the little things
Counting the tattoos on your skin
Tell me a secret
And baby, I'll keep it
And maybe we could play house for the weekend

You came out the blue on a rainy night
No lie
I'll tell you how I almost died
While you're bringing me back to life

I just wanna live in this moment forever

'Cause I'm afraid that living couldn't get any better

Started giving up on the word "forever"
Until you gave up heaven, so we could be together

You're my angel
Angel baby, angel
You're my angel, baby
Baby, you're my angel
Angel baby

All the sick and twisted nights that I've been waiting for ya
They were worth it all along, yeah

I just wanna live in this moment forever
'Cause I'm afraid that living couldn't get any better
Started giving up on the word "forever" (on the word "forever")
Until you gave up heaven, so we could be together

You're my angel
Angel baby, angel
You're my angel, baby
Baby, you're my angel
Angel baby

Angel
Angel baby, angel (you're my angel, baby)
You're my angel, baby (you're my angel, baby)
Baby, you're my angel
Angel baby

Let me throw in many more memes to incentivize donors to shower me with support, to blow me away like a Rocket Man! This post will be updated in an hour.